In most bookshops these days, the horror section barely deserves that name. It might have a little Stephen King in there, maybe a handful of other authors, and then shelves and shelves of paranormal romance. If this is your kind of thing, then there's no problem. As for me, I'm a little bit over it.
I'd like to see vampires and werewolves return to being creatures of horror first and, if they really, really need to be, sex objects second. As this probably won't happen anytime soon, let's see if we can't shake the genre up a little bit instead!
Where's the love for zombies in all this? All the girls seem to throw themselves at the closest vampire or werewolf, leaving the poor zombies shuffling around aimlessly. Poor guys! Zombies can have feelings too. Sure, this feeling is mostly hunger, but they hunger for you ladies!
Zombies are extremely loyal. Once they're with you, they will follow you around wherever you go for the rest of your (possibly short) life. They won't complain about the destination. They won't grumble about how you seem to want to walk ahead of him, rather than with him. You are everything to the zombie. He wants to be wherever you are, no matter what.
The zombie is also a very romantic being. Zombies believe in and embrace the notion of love at first sight. Yes, your body is the first thing a zombie notices. But, in the end, a zombie will always love you for your brain first and foremost.
A zombie will always be happy to introduce you to his friends, and as soon as possible too. He will also be perfectly fine sharing you with his friends. But, that's your choice. I won't judge. Much.
A zombie just wants to hold you really close and squeeze you tight. Tight enough that you cannot escape, and close enough that he could eat you if he wanted. But there's nothing to worry about. The monsters in paranormal romance aren't ever actually dangerous. Right?
See? Zombies would fit into the genre perfectly! And do you know what else would be good for the genre? How about a paranormal bromance?
Alex and Steve are the best of bros. They do everything together. They struggle to get their rock band off the ground. They party hard together. Almost all their free time is spent doing something together. They live within walking distance from each other. They work for the same company. They're both even dating twin sisters. They've been inseparable since they first met at school.
One night - a very fateful night of course - they are both out at a party. As the party draws to a close, Alex and Steve decide to leave, walking together back to their homes. They reach the point where they have to part ways and farewell each other with a manly bro hug.
When they meet again, nothing will be the same...
Alex, on his way home, is attacked and turned by a vampire. Steve, on the other hand, finds himself bitten by a werewolf. He then slowly starts to become one himself. Of course, vampires and werewolves are bitter, ancient enemies. And so, the next day at work...
Excited to share the news of their transformation, both Alex and Steve hurry to find the other. Their excitement quickly turns to sorrow as they realise they are now meant to be hated enemies. Can they overcome the hatred of their races and remain bros through it all?
Is this not the Romeo and Juliet of bromances?
And so they're my ideas to refresh the genre a little. If anyone is interested in purchasing the rights to these, I'm open for negotiation!
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